Some may say I am a fool for believing in something that I can’t touch or see. Too much knowledge that they forget who gives peace, wisdom, and rest. Life is more than just being smart. I know who my God is. I know where I was and I know where I am now. I have been wondering around to find this peace in this world, been through depression, suicidal thoughts once or twice, felt unworthy, took sleeping pills to find rest and unloved/rejected. The last moment I kneeled down and prayed as I gave up that was the day my life truly started. The moment I felt hopeless Jesus gave me this indescribable hope and peace. I felt so much joy in my whole body and rest in my soul. I went to bed with a smile on my face knowing he is in control. I use to read books any books to be inspired what to write and to find who I am. Now just walking in the streets he puts his words in my heart and he tells me who I am in Christ. I walked with the world and with Christ. Walking with Christ is always living in a miracle. When you get your prayers answered and you know he is really out there looking after you. I am busy building a firm foundation. I am not looking for the right relationship rather I am seeking for God face every day (Acts 17:27: that they would seek God if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.) I go to bed with no worries and with a smile as I sleep like a perfect baby. I wake up and feel grateful for another beautiful day. I feel blessed not because everything is alright but I know he is in control. I have happiness in my soul and spirit I can’t explain. I am wise, I am happy, I am at peace and calm in Christ in me. The more I got closer to Jesus Christ I lost my appetite to the world. It is not about growing up in a religious home but it’s about where Christ shows you who he truly is throughout your life. Now I wake up every day busy trying to be a better woman rather than comparing myself to other women (Proverbs 30:31- Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.)
It’s not about being religious for me. it’s not about proving everyone else around me that I am a religious person. It’s about my God. Who my God is, learn about him every day. Living your life according to Christ words. God Love that he has for us, his mercy and grace. We have our flesh, soul, and spirit, and Christ gives me peace and rest in my spirit and soul. The spirit in me disciplines my flesh (Matthew 26:41“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”). How Christ is there for us when no one is. How Jesus Christ words are comforting. The bible is not a fiction book, it’s a book of life. A book you can read every day in your life. How God is faithful. I don’t go every Sunday for I am a religious person, I go to feed my spirit with his words and worship him as I feel great. Standing where I am standing today and looking back, I am exactly where I should be. The peace he gives you when you are going through hardship. The way he calms your heart in the midst of the storm. He is Faithful, I am a living example.